The personality cult that Charlie Charters is crafting around himself as he casts himself as a FICAC victim has taken a fresh twist with his revelation to a breathless nation that he has the bladder of a Labrador.
Charlie praises the FICAC investigator who detained him in Nadi and brought him to Suva last month for his kindness in providing him with frequent stops along the way to enable him to relieve himself.
It’s a revelation that the rest of us might prefer to be spared over the breakfast madrai but it does raise some questions about Charlie’s physical state as he faces trial for allegedly aiding and abetting a FICAC whistleblower.
Charlie claims he had too much water to drink but frequent urination is a common symptom of diabetes, urinary tract infections, an overactive bladder or an enlarged prostate. It can also stem from lifestyle factors such as high caffeine or alcohol intake. Which is it? Presumably not alcohol intake in this instance because Charlie makes a point of telling us that the FICAC officer is a Muslim who made his own stops along the way to pray.
Why is any of this relevant? Well like most Fijians, Grubsheet cares enough about Charlie’s welfare to want him to be in a fit state to stand trial, having done everything he possibly can to derail the Ashton-Lewis Commission of Inquiry into the Malimali affair.
I promised Grubsheet readers in our last piece on Charlie that I would post another fashion shot of him as soon as one became available and sure enough, our hero hasn’t disappointed. First it was a purple and white bula shirt decked with a military jacket, then red and white and now blue and white on yellow.
Yellow? Doesn’t orange come before yellow in the criminal justice system? As in the yellow ribbon program of rehabilitation after a stint of prison orange? Just kidding, of course.
I think this one is particularly fetching, don’t you? And, of course, anyone who is anyone in Suva wants to be photographed with Charlie as he continues his fight for justice.
Last week, the two swinging dicks of the Suva bar – Richard “I have the means” Naidu and Wylie “Coyote” Clarke – were basking in the presence of the Honourable Martin Daubney AM KC. Now they are basking in the presence of Charlie.
Of course, Grubsheet is as keen as Dickie and Wylie to bask in Charlie’s aura. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother writing this rubbish.
For the record, Charlie will be back in court this week to argue for another variation on his bail to travel to Hong Kong. Now that he has returned from Australia to face the music, it should be a lot easier for him to persuade the courts to let him leave Fiji again.
Some uncharitable people were evidently suggesting that he would “do a runner” last time (who, me?) but with that bladder of his, it’s unlikely that he’d be able to get far.
“Break a leg” is a old saying in the theatre when people wish actors the best of luck in their latest play. But as we all wish Charlie the best of luck in his court proceedings, “cock a leg” seems much more appropriate.
The touching account of a great many stops along the Queens Road with that nice man from FICAC.
Yes, never let it be said there is no hope in Fiji.
You just have to have the right connections.
And finally, what will he be wearing next?
He was so scared he pessed in his pants.
He’s not scared of anything except not being able to find a tree.
Yellow is the new Orange. Or perhaps bula is the new Orange.
It is all quite confusing. To paraphrase our gounchy Yorkshire Labrador sage – there is hope still in the most unlikely places.
Charlie knows that no matter how brave a face he puts on it, he remains as an accused.
So he should.stop his showoffs with floral bula wear which could be xxxxL in size and should just focus on revealing who was the squeak in FICAC.
Hurry up. Everyone is waiting.
Hopefully “frater” Charlie he doesn’t end up behind bars because that V sign is exactly what the other inmates will do to him when he reaches to pickup the soap.
Alternatively in another universe, perhaps Charlie boy, with all the wealth of the Hot Bread Kitchen behind him, knows something we all dont know about the outcome of this case…
Charlie is a man of principle – so leave him alone, he has done a lot to Fiji as a credible journalist during his time with TV One!
His case is already in court – so we must all wait for its outcome, why people jumping up on him?
Vinaka Charlie – keep up the good work as respected citizen of UK – God Bless you!
If he was a man of principle, he would not have tried to destroy the Ashton-Lewis Commission of Inquiry. He has actively sided with one of the biggest crocodiles of all – the corrupt Chief Justice, Salesi Temo – and for that he thoroughly deserves to be jumped on.
At least give him the fact that that he has correctly shown his palm facing outward for the V for victory sign,
as opposed to the very common Fiji phenomenon, palm inwards 2 finger salute in almost all photos in the public space!
Funnily enough, there are plenty of photos on the Net of Winston Churchill with his fingers facing inwards giving the V sign. But perhaps he was just having a bad day.